Be listening to the Breakfast Show just after 7:00 am weekdays to ensure you get your daily dose and be first card out of the deck for the day.

Monday: I keep seeing printers, scanners and webcams out of the corner of my eye. It’s my peripheral vision!

Elvis’ Bonus: If you ever need an ark built, I Noah bloke!

Bob’s Bonus: A senior’s t-shirt read: “I’d like to apologise to anyone I have not yet offended – please be patient, I’ll get to you shortly”!

Tuesday: I made my wife’s dreams come true when we got married in a castle. But you wouldn’t have known it from the look on her face as we were bouncing around in the jumping castle!

Elvis’ Bonus: I couldn’t work out why my computer kept singing, then I realised it was a Dell!

Bob’s Anagram Bonus: Decimal point: a dot in place!

Dave’s Bonus: Why doesn’t Elton John eat lettuce? Because he’s a rocket man!

Wednesday: A friend of mine is always going on about photography jokes. You just can’t shutter up!

Bob’s Bonus: To maintain a healthy sense of insanity: When leaving a zoo starting running and scream out “They’re loose, they’re out – run, run”!

Elvis’ Bonus: I was standing in a line waiting for them to hand out patience, I left because it was taking too long!

Thursday: I tried to feed my pet aardvark some flying ants today. He turned his nose up!

Bob’s Bonus: A son asked his mother what a book is for? “It’s called reading son, it’s how people install new data into their brain”!

Elvis’ Bonus: Did you hear about the bloke who got hit by a rental car? He said Hertz!

Friday: There are only two things I don’t eat for breakfast: Lunch and dinner!

Nikki’s Mumma joke: Why is Peter Pan always flying. He never lands! Do you know why I like that joke Murray? Because it never gets old!