Be listening to the Breakfast Show just after 7:00 am weekdays to ensure you get your daily dose and be first card out of the deck for the day.

Monday: I walked by a drug rehabilitation centre the other day. The sign on the lawn said, “Keep off the grass”!

Bob’s Bonus: A woman passed me with a salad in her hands and said to me “Do you know a cow died so you could eat that beef burger?” I replied “Well, if you weren’t eating it’s food it might still be alive”!

Tuesday: I had to give up my career as a photographer. I kept losing focus!

Bob’s Bonus: My mate said he’d drive me into town in his car. When I got in I asked him about the snake. He said “Don’t worry, it’s only a carpet”!

Wednesday: I asked the librarian for a book on “Finding Bigfoot”. She directed me to the large print section!

Bob’s Bonus: Even if you keep pushing the envelope, it will still be stationary!

Thursday: A dragon would never explode. But a dino might!

Bob’s Bonus: My mate told me that his doctor has advised him to give up golf. I assumed the doctor had checked his heart. My mate replied “No, he checked my score card”!

Friday: When I was a kid, bedtime was 9 pm and I couldn’t wait to be a grownup so I could go to bed anytime I wanted. Turns out that is 9 pm!

Nikki’s Mumma joke: My husband told me to embrace my mistakes. So I gave him a hug!