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Dad Jokes of the Week – 23 June 2023

If you missed any of our Dad Jokes over the last week, here is your opportunity to keep yourself up to date with the best damn Breakfast Show giggles around!

Be listening to the Breakfast Show just after 7:00 am weekdays to ensure you get your daily dose and be first card out of the deck for the day.

Monday: I’m looking to buy an old lighthouse. Nothing flashy!

Laura’s Bonus: Why did the invisible man turn down his new job? He just couldn’t see himself doing it?

Bob’s Bonus: Julie Andrews will no longer be endorsing cheap lipstick. Evidently  It crumbles easily, makes her breath smell and the super colour fragile lipstick gives me halitosis!

Tuesday: I was fired from my job marking exams at the Uni. I don’t know why; I always gave 100%!

Bob’s Bonus: Paddy was pulled up by the police for weaving all over the road. “What’s wrong Paddy?” the copper asked. “There are trees all over the road so I’m weaving around them”. The policeman replied “You are in idiot Paddy, that’s your air freshener blowing around in the wind”!

Wednesday: I’ve just about finished my degree in sandwich fillings. I do my final eggs ham tomorrow!

Laura’s Bonus: A real estate gave me a free roof. He said it was on the house!

Elvis’ Bonus: Why don’t monsters eat ghosts? The taste like sheet!

Thursday: My partner and I have agreed to never go to bed angry with each other. So far, we’ve been up for three days!

Bob’s Bonus: I have a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare. But he chewed it a lot, so I don’t know whether it is 2B or not 2B!

Bob’s Bonus: A friend told me she wouldn’t eat beef tongue because it comes from a cow’s mouth. So I gave her an egg instead!

Friday: As I was getting into bed, she said, “You’re drunk.” I said, “How do you know?” She said, “You live next door”!

Sarah’s Grandmama joke: What do you get when you cross a fish with an elephant? Swimming trunks!

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