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Dad Jokes of the Week – 17 May 2024

Be listening to the Breakfast Show just after 7:00 am weekdays to ensure you get your daily dose and be first card out of the deck for the day.

Monday: I’ve started taking engraving lessons. There’s still so much to learn, we’ve only just scratched the surface!

Gerhard’s Bonus: I accidentally took my cat’s medication. Don’t ask meow…!

Elvis’ Bonus: I took a pole and found out that 100% of the people inside the tent were angry when it collapsed!

Bob’s Bonus: In my day, little boys were meant to be seen and not heard. Until I was 13, I thought my name was ‘Shut Up’!

Tuesday: What do you get when you eat Uranium? Atomic ache!

Bob’s Bonus: Money can’t buy you happiness. But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery!

Elvis’ Bonus: NASA are sending a space shuttle up to say sorry to the Aliens, it’s called Apollo G!

Wednesday: I went to the doctor with a suspicious-looking mole. He said they all look that way and I should have left him in the garden!

Bob’s Bonus: Instead of presents this year, I’m just giving everyone my opinion!

Elvis’ Bonus: I saw a school of fish and they didn’t make a sound, but I am hard of herring!

Thursday: I asked the local librarian if she knew of any authors who wrote dinosaur novels. She said, “Yes, try Sarah Topps”!

Elvis’ Bonus: I gave the Tinnitus help line a call, no one answered, it just kept ringing!

Bob’s Bonus: If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t the people from Holland called Holes!

Friday: My wife woke up the other day with a puzzled look on her face. She’d fallen asleep on her crossword!

Nikki’s Mumma joke: I asked the boss what he was doing today? He said “I’m going to the optometrist to pick up a prescription, then I’ll see”!

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