Be listening to the Breakfast Show just after 7:00 am weekdays to ensure you get your daily dose and be first card out of the deck for the day.

Monday: I’m taking my box of wine back and filing a complaint. It said once opened it would last 6 weeks, but it was gone after 3 hrs!

Bob’s Bonus: A paper reported “A man with a stammer jailed – judge rules he is unlikely to finish sentence”!

Elvis’ Bonus: I have a pet termite, I named it Clint. Clint Eatwood!

Tuesday: My friend reckons his furniture company makes the best poker tables ever. But I wouldn’t bet on it!

Elvis’ Bonus: Apparently 60 is the new 40. But I just got pulled over by a copper and he disagrees!

Bob’s Bonus: Sign in a Chinese restaurant that read ‘No, we no see cat of yours. Not more ask prease’!

Wednesday: My friend asked me if I knew where he could find a toupee. I said not off the top of my head!

Bob’s Bonus: Headline in paper reads “Angry man hits out at thief who stole his spectacles. Says I’ll find you, I have contacts”!

Elvis’ Bonus: I have an appointment with my psychic next week, she called to tell me I wouldn’t make it!

Thursday: I saw a bee fly right into a bell. I thought, “That’s a real humdinger”!

Bob’s Bonus: James Bond postponed his hair colouring appointment. He said he was going to ‘dye another day’!

Elvis’ Bonus: The two people that invented the Ferris wheel and merry go round never got to meet each other. Because they travelled around in different circles!

Friday: I went to see a play about fly fishing. The cast was amazing!

Nikki’s Mumma joke: How does a vampire start a letter? Tomb is may concern…

Nikki’s Bonus: How can you tell if a vampire is sick? By how much he is coffin!